I am so clean I could eat myself

I am basically a simple guy.

In this modern-day and age of hyper competition, where everyone has to make their product stand out somehow so you buy it instead of the three hundred other products that are basically exactly the same except the package is green instead of pink … well let’s just say I don’t shop much.

To me clothes are things to protect yourself from the elements and maybe provide pockets. Food is simply sustenance. Cars are things that get you around. And cleaning products … well … clean. I don’t really care what color my sneakers are as long as they actually sneak. I don’t care if my food has all the latest fads in dietary goodness as long as it doesn’t cause my heart to suddenly explode and fills my tummy. And I certainly don’t care if my car can update my Facebook status.

So it always amuses me when I visit someone else’s house and of course “forget” to bring soap with me. I usually will use whatever offers in their bathroom, which these days seems invariably to ensure that at the very least I am downright hungry when I finish bathing. Nothing better than smelling like fresh-baked goods after a healthy shower! It’s even more fun when the shower you are sharing is usually used by … say … a nine-year old girl. For instance, this morning I got to choose between Mellow Mellon body wash and Groovy Grape. I used the old standby of picking the bottle that had the most in it. It was a very refreshing shower, but I came out of it smelling like a grape soda. Definitely has nostalgia appeal. Not sure it will impress the ladies so much though (not that I am trying to impress the ladies).

Does anyone else remember when soap was just soap?