Since I have well embraced my life as a hermit, my list of funny anecdotes that happen in the world is again severely lacking. Fortunately, I have also mastered the art of living life vicariously through others. I am once again inspired by some useful advice for the employment challenged over at Lady or Not … Here I Come, resulting in the following bit of my own advice that some might find helpful. I would also like to thank her for reminding me that today is not actually Saturday. It might have been a while before I caught up with the rest of the world if she had not. She is my one official fan so I do wanna keep her happy.
OK enough of the mushy stuff. I have been income free for quite some time now, so I have taken to calling myself a writer. It tends to make the frowns turn into looks of awe when answering “What do you do for work?” Having put a couple of years in now as a “Writer” I figured I would once again share some tips based on my own experiences for others who aspire to such a career:
- Become a hermit who does nothing. This will make it much easier to follow the always sage advice to “Write about what you know”.
- Don’t actually write anything.
- If you find yourself slipping up and writing something, make sure you rewrite it a few thousand times because you know it is horrible and nobody would want to read it.
- Don’t let anyone read what you write.
- When three months later you come across that piece of crap you were working on three months ago and reading it realize it is almost ok, post it on a blog that no one visits.
- Don’t EVER submit anything to anywhere that might generate an income for you.
- If someone comes along and says they enjoy something you wrote, vehemently deny it is any good whatsoever.
- Make sure you tell EVERYONE about the two novels you are working on, but if they ask what they are about be very vague.
There are probably other ideas I could share based on my extensive experience, but these stand out. As usual, if you totally ignore what I say … in fact do pretty much the opposite, you will no doubt be on the Best Seller lists in not time!